Other movie lists

Best Movies Ever   0 votes - 0 %
Best Double Feature   2 votes - 33 %
Director who should be shot   0 votes - 0 %
Actor who should be shot   3 votes - 50 %
Movies which are Crimes Against Humanity   3 votes - 50 %
 
6 Total Votes
Worst movies... by ObviousTroll (4.00 / 1) #1 Wed Jun 04, 2008 at 11:04:35 AM EST
"The Conversation" with Gene Hackman. Won all sorts of awards, apparently, but I couldn't watch more than the first 15 minutes or so before I gave it up and turned it off.


--
Has anybody seen my clue? I know I had it when I came in here.


Here's one -- Ultraviolet by theboz (4.00 / 1) #2 Wed Jun 04, 2008 at 11:06:34 AM EST
We were bored, wound up at the theater, and we had seen everything else interesting.  It was so horrible I don't even want to write about all the things wrong with the movie.
- - - - -
That's what I always say about you, boz, you have a good memory for random facts about pussy. -- joh3n


As I have mentioned before... by atreides (4.00 / 1) #6 Wed Jun 04, 2008 at 11:12:37 AM EST
Indeed by Vulch (2.00 / 0) #14 Wed Jun 04, 2008 at 11:47:43 AM EST

Guns with semi-silvered mirror sights firing graphite rod bullets, holding cells with built in UV flash, and an ingenious way of only blowing the bloody doors off. And Susannah Harker.

[ Parent ]

It's All About Love by duxup (4.00 / 1) #3 Wed Jun 04, 2008 at 11:07:37 AM EST
Alexander by Merekat (4.00 / 3) #4 Wed Jun 04, 2008 at 11:09:25 AM EST
Why did Val Kilmer need a dublin accent to play a greek? What was with the purple bits in the elephant fight scene? Angelina Jolie cannot be Colin Farrell's ma, surely? Why did it go on for so long? Why did I not care about any of the characters enough to like or dislike them?

Just...Oliver, why?




Alexander by ucblockhead (2.00 / 0) #17 Wed Jun 04, 2008 at 11:52:41 AM EST
One of the few movies I've actually turned off part way through. Doubly impressive in that I'm really in to classic-era epics.
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ウセーバラケダ
[ Parent ]

YES by gzt (2.00 / 0) #43 Wed Jun 04, 2008 at 04:12:03 PM EST
I agree SO HARD. See my comment in reply to clock below, this is another film my roommate rented. I think I even watched most of it because after about an hour I thought, "Well, this is pretty crappy, but it has to be ending soon, right?" But it just kept going. And going. After that I resolved to just walk away when things turn south because I never know when it really still has 1.5 hours left...

I cared enough about the characters that I wanted them all to be executed for being in such a wretched film.

[ Parent ]

Easy: by toxicfur (4.00 / 2) #5 Wed Jun 04, 2008 at 11:12:12 AM EST
Titanic. My ex-boyfriend forced me to watch it. While he sobbed uncontrollably, I wandered off into the kitchen to find a knife to utterly and completely destroy the videocassette. Ugh. Just thinking about that movie makes me feel a little violent.
--
To Rollins lesbians are like cuddly pandas: cute, exotic, forest-dwelling, dangerous when riled and unable to produce offspring without assistance.-CRwM


Toxicfur by Gedvondur (4.00 / 1) #10 Wed Jun 04, 2008 at 11:30:26 AM EST
For teh WIN!

Gedvondur
"If you do not sin, then you too may some day float like a big pink Goodyear blimp of The Lord." -theboz
[ Parent ]

Naked Kate Winslet by georgeha (4.00 / 1) #13 Wed Jun 04, 2008 at 11:42:57 AM EST
the Titanic had something worth watching.


[ Parent ]

But that's not that uncommon by Vulch (4.00 / 1) #16 Wed Jun 04, 2008 at 11:50:05 AM EST

She's got her kit off in much better films.

[ Parent ]

Well by Gedvondur (4.00 / 4) #33 Wed Jun 04, 2008 at 02:13:23 PM EST
While I can't argue with a fine piece such as Kate Winslet, watching Titanic is like drinking urine because you are thirsty.  It gets the job done, but the pleasure of the experience is largely gone.

Gedvondur
"If you do not sin, then you too may some day float like a big pink Goodyear blimp of The Lord." -theboz
[ Parent ]

lol by Merekat (4.00 / 2) #11 Wed Jun 04, 2008 at 11:32:20 AM EST
I suspect the only reason I haven't listed this one is that I flatly refused to go see the sappy sinky ship film.

[ Parent ]

Lucky, lucky you. by toxicfur (2.00 / 0) #20 Wed Jun 04, 2008 at 11:59:47 AM EST
I resisted as long as I could.
--
To Rollins lesbians are like cuddly pandas: cute, exotic, forest-dwelling, dangerous when riled and unable to produce offspring without assistance.-CRwM
[ Parent ]

I finally saw it by ni (4.00 / 3) #27 Wed Jun 04, 2008 at 01:03:10 PM EST
when it was shown in my Junior High class, by the school. This horror was only compensated for by the incredible ineptness of the school officials: When the time came for the infamous breast scene, they let it play through unaltered, and then (presumably fearing the dreadful impact a breast could have on young) rewound it so that they could fast forward over that scene.

The moment says more than anything I could about the sorts of people who end up being school administrators.


"These days it seems like sometimes dreams of Italian hyper-gonadism are all a man's got to keep him going." -- CRwM
[ Parent ]

Hah! by toxicfur (2.00 / 0) #36 Wed Jun 04, 2008 at 02:37:47 PM EST
That happened in my "non-denominational Christian" private school when I was in the 9th grade, only with the bare ass of Romeo in the 1968 version of Romeo and Juliet. My teacher wasn't paying attention, and let the scene play through, then freaked when people in the class started snickering, rewound and fast-forwarded through the scene, plus part of the next.
--
To Rollins lesbians are like cuddly pandas: cute, exotic, forest-dwelling, dangerous when riled and unable to produce offspring without assistance.-CRwM
[ Parent ]

haha by MillMan (2.00 / 0) #40 Wed Jun 04, 2008 at 03:35:19 PM EST
well god is watching, so as long as you make an effort, even if it's a total failure...

When I'm imprisoned as an enemy combatant, will you blog about it?
[ Parent ]

Undoubtedly. by ambrosen (2.00 / 0) #7 Wed Jun 04, 2008 at 11:21:43 AM EST
Thomas and the Magic Railroad.

OK, it's a kid's movie, but it's unwatchable even given that.



Every day by ucblockhead (2.00 / 0) #18 Wed Jun 04, 2008 at 11:53:20 AM EST
I pray my Thomas-obsessed son won't discover that movie's existence.
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ウセーバラケダ
[ Parent ]

My Thomas obsessed nephews by ambrosen (2.00 / 0) #19 Wed Jun 04, 2008 at 11:58:09 AM EST
Simply wouldn't watch it, so even if he does, you may be safe.

I just felt ill watching it, I don't know why.

[ Parent ]

I pray your prayer comes true by iGrrrl (2.00 / 0) #28 Wed Jun 04, 2008 at 01:25:00 PM EST
Someone lent it to us. It even violates the internal Thomas logic, 16 ways from sunday, and poor, poor Peter Fonda...

"I don't have time for martial law, I have to get to the gym!" zarathus
[ Parent ]

It got decent reviews by jayhawk88 (4.00 / 1) #8 Wed Jun 04, 2008 at 11:23:48 AM EST
But I thought The Thin Red Line sucked. Just seemed way to confused as to whether it wanted to be a gritty war drama or The Shawshank Redemption. None of the characters really stood out in any meaningful way; it's a telling sign when the one memory of the movie you have is Woody Harrelson getting shot in the ass.

Aliens v. Predators was horrible, but is almost in the "so bad it's good" area. I think I might have written a diary about that in fact way back when. A movie so predictable you felt like you had written the script yourself.



The Thin Red Line by houser2112 (2.00 / 0) #71 Thu Jun 05, 2008 at 09:26:10 PM EST
is the only movie I've ever fallen asleep in a theater while watching.

[ Parent ]

Ooooh by Gedvondur (4.00 / 2) #9 Wed Jun 04, 2008 at 11:29:35 AM EST
Highlander II The Quickening 

I think this movie was SO fricking bad that it actually ruined the original.  It made me puke into my mouth a little.

Battlefield Earth 

Say what you want about the crazy that is L. Ron Hubbard, but the book was excellent.  A great read.  800 page paperback.  It was almost inevitable that the movie version would suck total balls, regardless of the participation of John "Crazy Scientologist" Travolta.

I, Robot

From the "How to Wreck Asimov's Legacy in 120 Minutes" Category we have I, Robot.  This movie had almost NOTHING to do with the original "The Caves of Steel" or any other R. Daneel Olivaw story.  Thousand of people who never read Asimov will now NEVER read Asimov due to this turd.  Stupid anti-robot paranoia movie.

Titanic

This historically inaccurate and fluffed up piece of crap infected movie theaters for untold months like a stubborn case of gonnrea.  I know it made untold millions of dollars, but what a fucking joke.  If you want a sad love story, watch "Ghost" or "City of Angles."  Or anything but this bloated warthog of a movie.  Boat sinks indeed. 

That's all I got for now, I imagine that there are TONS more.

Gedvondur
"If you do not sin, then you too may some day float like a big pink Goodyear blimp of The Lord." -theboz


Titanic. by ambrosen (4.00 / 1) #21 Wed Jun 04, 2008 at 12:01:38 PM EST
I heard some of the epic scenes in Titanic through the wall of the cinema in the next screen. I have since vowed never to go to out of town cinemas again. Even the one nearest my parents, which has the advantage of looking like it got buckled in an earthquake.

[ Parent ]

God abandoned Highlander 2... by atreides (4.00 / 1) #25 Wed Jun 04, 2008 at 12:16:06 PM EST
I wouldn't even refer to it directly until the "renegade director's cut" came out, making them all from Atlantis instead of the place that shall not be named.  Then it was merely abysmal but could be referenced directly.

I remember the night it opened in the theater.  My friends and I all went.  It ended in tears.  And when Lambert kissed Madsen, I announced that I wanted my money back and half the audience started applauding.

He sails from world to world in a flying tomb, serving gods who eat hope.
[ Parent ]

It was God-Awful by Gedvondur (2.00 / 0) #32 Wed Jun 04, 2008 at 02:10:38 PM EST
Highlander 2 was fricking awful.  I have some friends who are HUGE Highlander fans.  Huge.  Hell, their first-born is named Connor.

Mentioning Highlander 2 in their presence causes them to point fingers and shout "Shun the Unbeliever!"

Gedvondur
"If you do not sin, then you too may some day float like a big pink Goodyear blimp of The Lord." -theboz
[ Parent ]

Minor nit by sasquatchan (4.00 / 1) #30 Wed Jun 04, 2008 at 01:43:44 PM EST
I, Robot was not part of the Bailey/Olivaw story line, IIRC. Themes and ideas from it did move and form a basis for the later books.

[ Parent ]

Dune / Eraserhead by codemonkey uk (2.00 / 0) #12 Wed Jun 04, 2008 at 11:38:12 AM EST


--- Thad ---
developer of ... ?


Multiplicity [nt] by gazbo (2.00 / 0) #15 Wed Jun 04, 2008 at 11:49:16 AM EST


"Engarde!" cried the larvae, huskily. - Scrymarch



My friends and I watch bad movies by miker2 (2.00 / 0) #22 Wed Jun 04, 2008 at 12:03:56 PM EST
FOR FUN.

Our top flicks:

Gigli
The Animal
House of Wax

We still have to watch Crossroads, Cool as Ice, and Shazam.

My vote for worst ever is Gigli.  It was a truly horrible movie whose only redeeming value is an unintentionally funny retard.


Ah, sociopathy. How warm, how comforting, thy sweet embrace. - MNS


I don't know about "worst ever", by yicky yacky (4.00 / 1) #23 Wed Jun 04, 2008 at 12:08:26 PM EST

but I thought 'The Fifth Element' was pretty bloody awful; such an uninspired hodge-podge of off-the-shelf ideas that even Mila's face couldn't save it. "Director Luc Besson had come up with the story for The Fifth Element when he was 16". Makes sense. It was made worse for me by the fact that quite a few friends of mine adored it, and I just couldn't see what they were taking from it.

TF's also right about 'Titanic', although there was a certain amount of psychological compensation for watching that, which I'll go into another time.

'Open Water' was pretty shockingly poor, too, but I've mentioned that before.


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Done.


Take that back! by iGrrrl (4.00 / 2) #29 Wed Jun 04, 2008 at 01:27:19 PM EST
I love that movie, but in part I love it because it looks like a Moebius comic come to life.

"I don't have time for martial law, I have to get to the gym!" zarathus
[ Parent ]

Huh by Gedvondur (4.00 / 2) #31 Wed Jun 04, 2008 at 02:07:28 PM EST
I thought The Fifth Element was a pretty fun little film.  Certainly not deep or anything, but a fun little film.  Plenty of action, laughs and emotion.

Gedvondur
"If you do not sin, then you too may some day float like a big pink Goodyear blimp of The Lord." -theboz
[ Parent ]

I liked Titanic by wiredog (4.00 / 2) #34 Wed Jun 04, 2008 at 02:14:30 PM EST
But then I didn't expect much, and seeing Kate's boobs were a nice bonus.

Earth First!
(We can strip mine the rest later.)

[ Parent ]

Ugh by Gedvondur (4.00 / 1) #35 Wed Jun 04, 2008 at 02:20:38 PM EST
Heh, well clearly many people liked Titanic.  I have never been a big fan of love-story tear jerkers to begin with and Titanic was really really sappy.

It just grated on me.  I think that at least a part of it was the over-exposure it had.  Soured me on the movie.

Gedvondur
"If you do not sin, then you too may some day float like a big pink Goodyear blimp of The Lord." -theboz
[ Parent ]

Movies by ucblockhead (2.00 / 0) #38 Wed Jun 04, 2008 at 03:23:40 PM EST
I thought Titanic was a combination of mediocre plotting/acting with nice scenery. I though The Fifth Element was charmingly bad.
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ウセーバラケダ
[ Parent ]

My Worst by haplopeart (2.00 / 0) #24 Wed Jun 04, 2008 at 12:13:38 PM EST
Red Planet
Mission to Mars
Event Horizon
Children of Men
The Fountain
Any Police Academy after 2, even camp doesn't help here
Wayne's World 2
Highlander 2



HOW DARE YOU by codemonkey uk (2.00 / 0) #26 Wed Jun 04, 2008 at 12:49:51 PM EST
Both Wayne's World movies were awesome.

--- Thad ---
developer of ... ?
[ Parent ]

Children of Men by ucblockhead (2.00 / 0) #39 Wed Jun 04, 2008 at 03:24:53 PM EST
One of my favorite movies of the last couple years.

The rest were mostly crap, except for The Fountain which was an interesting failure.
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ウセーバラケダ
[ Parent ]

The Fountain by lm (2.00 / 0) #44 Wed Jun 04, 2008 at 04:22:54 PM EST
It's rare to see such great writing and superb acting go completely down the toilet. I give the effort put into it high marks, but the actual execution deserves to be forgotten.

And of course it turns out to be one of my wife's favorite movies.


There is no more degenerate kind of state than that in which the richest are supposed to be the best.
Cicero, The Republic
[ Parent ]

The Fountain was a failure? by nightflameblue (2.00 / 0) #45 Wed Jun 04, 2008 at 04:23:02 PM EST
I guess if you're so locked into reality you can't question it a little from time to time, maybe. Come on, dude's wife is a tree that lives FOREVAR in an intergalactic spacecraft. How is that not awesome?

[ Parent ]

I'll grant you. by haplopeart (2.00 / 0) #69 Thu Jun 05, 2008 at 12:18:03 PM EST
The concept was interesting, but the execution was horrible!

The cuts between the three story lines had no context that I could find.  The Spanish storyline needed to be fleshed out more, and needed a little more exposition.  I felt like the whole thing needed like one more sequence to tie things together.  Just my thoughts.

[ Parent ]

I dug it a lot. by nightflameblue (2.00 / 0) #70 Thu Jun 05, 2008 at 12:52:24 PM EST
But I like movies that don't answer every question. It leaves a lot of room for interpretation. Mrs. NFB and I chatted about that movie for days afterwards because there was so much open about it. So, I guess I liked it for the very reasons you didn't.

[ Parent ]

EVENT HORIZON? by nightflameblue (2.00 / 0) #47 Wed Jun 04, 2008 at 04:25:46 PM EST
Take that back or. . .

. . .you're dead to me.

[ Parent ]

No. He's right, I'm afraid. by yicky yacky (2.00 / 0) #49 Wed Jun 04, 2008 at 05:02:07 PM EST

Real stinker ...


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Done.
[ Parent ]

No, he's not. by nightflameblue (2.00 / 0) #50 Wed Jun 04, 2008 at 05:20:15 PM EST
And you won't be convincing me otherwise.

Not that I think it was a pillar of wonder or anything, but it didn't suck.

[ Parent ]

(Comment Deleted) by jxg (2.00 / 0) #53 Wed Jun 04, 2008 at 08:20:24 PM EST

This comment has been deleted by jxg



[ Parent ]

movies that we shut off halfway... by clock (2.00 / 0) #37 Wed Jun 04, 2008 at 03:16:20 PM EST
spider-man 3. awful.  just...gawd.

brokeback mountain.  don't hate me.  the scenery was beautiful but an hour in we realized there was still over an hour to go and nothing had happened.  if i wanted to watch nothing, i have the entire intarweb at my disposal.


Clock is right. [nt] --vorheesleatherface



i will destroy my roommate by gzt (2.00 / 0) #41 Wed Jun 04, 2008 at 04:09:02 PM EST
He rents movies through blockbuster and he picks them based on what blockbuster recommends and whether he's seen it before. Recipe for disaster. So he ends up picking up crap like "Spider-Man 3" and "Mothman Prophecies". I watched some of "Spider-Man 3" when he rented it over the weekend and found it mildly amusing at points because I only saw five-minute snippets which I don't think are so life-threatening out of context, but it was pretty craptacular and I couldn't imagine sitting through the entire thing even out of curiosity.

Really, we should have an intervention for him. "Here's how to pick movies that don't blow...".

[ Parent ]

Could be worse by ucblockhead (2.00 / 0) #55 Wed Jun 04, 2008 at 10:12:09 PM EST
When I was in college, my roommate was a film student. He'd talk us into going to some bizarre piece of utter crap and then on the way out, he's say things like "Huh. That was nearly as bad as I'd heard!" I sometimes wanted to strangle him.
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ウセーバラケダ
[ Parent ]

spiderman 3? by garlic (2.00 / 0) #68 Thu Jun 05, 2008 at 11:00:52 AM EST
After spiderman 2 was so predictable and dumb, I gave up on the franchise.

[ Parent ]

Do people ever watch movies for fun? by nightflameblue (4.00 / 1) #42 Wed Jun 04, 2008 at 04:11:14 PM EST
It's pretty rare to see praise for any movie. A daily occurrence to see someone, somewhere, call for a "worst movies evar" list. And most entries on most people's "worst evar" lists are movies that I either like or love.

But I'm with clock on Brokeback if I must mention a horrible movie. And this is not just overratedness talking. We sat through the entire thing in one of those, "there must be some redeeming scene at the end or something" and found nothing, nothing, rape, nothing, another rape, nothing, nothing, nothing, self loathing, nothing nothing and nothing.

I know nobody was supposed to ever say anything bad about it because it was about a gay couple at a troubling time, but, you know, as a story, it sucked. Doesn't matter if it had been gay, straight, alien-on-cow or whatever, it sucked.



You do have a point by gzt (2.00 / 0) #46 Wed Jun 04, 2008 at 04:24:44 PM EST
It's just so easy to be a critic, you just have to whine about something, but admitting to liking something opens you up to criticism. Perhaps next week, when we're done discussing the movies that made us physically ill because they were so crappy (like Alexander, in my case), we should have a diary where we comment on movies we have seen lately that are, all things considered, pretty all right.

[ Parent ]

I do that myself quite a bit. by nightflameblue (2.00 / 0) #48 Wed Jun 04, 2008 at 04:26:46 PM EST
But then, people are probably sick of seeing me defend my favorites this year.

[ Parent ]

Well by ucblockhead (2.00 / 0) #56 Wed Jun 04, 2008 at 10:14:28 PM EST
I thought it was ok, though I think it could have stood to have an hour cut out of it.

We could talk about how the BladeRunner Director's cut is the most awesome thing on film ever...
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ウセーバラケダ
[ Parent ]

I still need to pick that up. by nightflameblue (2.00 / 0) #59 Thu Jun 05, 2008 at 07:39:10 AM EST
It's been on the list for quite some time.

[ Parent ]

Schindler's List (nt) by Driusan (4.00 / 1) #51 Wed Jun 04, 2008 at 06:01:57 PM EST




ME TOO. by jxg (2.00 / 0) #54 Wed Jun 04, 2008 at 08:22:46 PM EST


[ Parent ]

Reds by Alan Crowe (2.00 / 0) #52 Wed Jun 04, 2008 at 07:10:23 PM EST
Reds won three Oscars. One was for the most welcome intermission. I cannot imagine what the other two were for.



That was really good in the theater. by wiredog (2.00 / 0) #58 Thu Jun 05, 2008 at 07:07:35 AM EST
But I can't imagine watching it twice.

Earth First!
(We can strip mine the rest later.)

[ Parent ]

The second set of Star Wars films. by ucblockhead (2.00 / 0) #57 Wed Jun 04, 2008 at 10:15:52 PM EST
(I.e. Star Wars I-III.) They destroyed my childhood. It took me two to realize how shit they were. I only presume the third was bad. I'll never see it.
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ウセーバラケダ


The third was the best of the bunch. by nightflameblue (2.00 / 0) #60 Thu Jun 05, 2008 at 07:41:57 AM EST
But then again, I'm not one of those people who A) assume IV-VI are the bestest films of all time just because I was young enough to get wrapped up in what was good about them or B) assume that I-III was horrible just because I was older and more cynical.  I guess I'm pretty good at going into a movie with low enough expectations to not be hurt when I don't leave the theater feeling like I've had the most awesome sexual experience ever.  They struck me as almost as good as the originals, though I must admit two drags a touch.

[ Parent ]

That's not a great recommendation... by wiredog (2.00 / 0) #61 Thu Jun 05, 2008 at 09:37:58 AM EST
The third was the best. Well, maybe (I never saw "Send In The Clones"), but it could hardly have been worse than Phantom Menace.

That said, if you've seen the "Phantom Edit" where JarJar is redubbed in a non-racist voice, the character actually works.

Earth First!
(We can strip mine the rest later.)

[ Parent ]

The character works anyways. by nightflameblue (2.00 / 0) #62 Thu Jun 05, 2008 at 09:44:47 AM EST

How a fictional race is a racists stereotype is one of those arguments that just cements in my brain I'm talking to somebody so lost in fanboisms they wouldn't be able to enjoy it anyway.

But, since we're supposed to be talking about the worst movies ever, I don't think the Star Wars prequels qualify. They weren't the greatest of all time, but they hardly hit Superbad levels of suck.

[ Parent ]

IT was the accent by wiredog (2.00 / 0) #63 Thu Jun 05, 2008 at 09:51:55 AM EST
Speaking as someone who grew up in Virginia, the whole "Meesa good nigger" accent was really off-putting.

Earth First!
(We can strip mine the rest later.)

[ Parent ]

Speaking as someone. . . by nightflameblue (2.00 / 0) #64 Thu Jun 05, 2008 at 10:07:33 AM EST
who has never heard an actual black person talk that way, I'd say you'd have more of a case about the trade federation representatives being "chinese" or the JarJar race-alikes sounding like stupid Italians. Any of them failz it, but at least those had some basis in reality.

[ Parent ]

That's the point by wiredog (2.00 / 0) #65 Thu Jun 05, 2008 at 10:15:48 AM EST
Actual black people don't talk that way. Southern white racists imitating black people talk that way.

Earth First!
(We can strip mine the rest later.)

[ Parent ]

Yikes. by nightflameblue (4.00 / 1) #66 Thu Jun 05, 2008 at 10:44:18 AM EST
Pardon me, I need to find something to scrape my shoe on now.

[ Parent ]

28 weeks later. by garlic (2.00 / 0) #67 Thu Jun 05, 2008 at 10:55:49 AM EST
I didn't care about anything in the first half hour. Then the janitor has unrestricted access to everywhere in the building. I work in a moderately secure place, and the janitors can't take out the trash without an escort.



Event Horizon. by aphrael (2.00 / 0) #72 Mon Jun 09, 2008 at 12:19:04 PM EST